Why Women Need to Brag More Often

I recently taught a seminar on "Shameless Self-Promotion" for women professionals.   In my research, I've found that men are more comfortable sharing their accomplishments than women are   And that's what self-promotion is all about - sharing your accomplishments and success stories.  

BRAG is not a four-letter word

I LOVED this post by Karen Deis at Mortgage Girlfriends about a recent incident where she shared an impressive accomplishment, but was accused of "bragging" by a female reader.

“B-r-a-g” is NOT a 4-letter word!

I recently posted a comment my Facebook page that I was proud of the fact that during the month of June, my Twitter posts were re-tweeted 917 times.

But, my “pride bubble” burst when I got a private message (in so many words) telling me to “quit bragging”. It was from a woman (who I don’t know personally).

Then I noticed something.

Facebook is not about just a little, but a lot of bragging. So I took the time to count the “bragging” posts and guess what? There were 3 times as many “brags” posted by men than women!

I don’t know about you, but when I was a little girl (a very long time ago, ha, ha), I was told it was not polite to brag (people won’t like you if you brag). When I started working full time, I was told, in so many words, not to brag because if you do a good job, people will “eventually” notice you. Then this Facebook thingy…

So, I started to do some research! There is an “art” to it…and there is such a thing as “good” bragging and “bad” bragging. If you’re going to brag, you need to have a “connection” associated with the brag.

Bad bragging is what I did.

So, let’s talk about good bragging. I should have said something like “Just wanted you to know I started tweeting about the mortgage rules (www.twitter.com/mortgagecurrent) about 2 years ago and last month was thrilled that 917 people found the info so important, that they re-tweeted them.

Karen shares some fantastic advice, especially for women.  How you share your accomplishments, aka "brag" is crucial.  While no one likes someone who is boastful, women are judged especially harshly if they come across as bragging.   Yet being confident and excelling at self-promotion requires women to step up and share their success stories.

In order to access the full post, you must be a Mortgage Girlfriend member.   If you're a woman in the finance or mortgage industry, I highly recommend you join.

Women need to ask for a seat at the table

Another skill women can improve on is asking for a seat at the table, rather than waiting to be invited.  Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg touches on this issue in her Ted talk - Why we have too few women leaders.

She shares a story of top female execs who chose to sit on the side during a major meeting rather than sitting at the main table.

Take these wise women's advice and ask for a seat at the table, and brag, in a good way, about the difference you make in the world. 

Comments

[Samantha R]

I do not think it is about women having to brag more, I think it is about women allowing other women to brag more. The problem is not the bragger, instead it is the people that are threaten by a women showing that she has accomplished something.

[Patti Arbon]

Thanks for the blog... I "stepped out" on facebook when I posted that I had reached my 50lbs lost goal. I had almost dared myself to post it. It wasn't easy!

Just a note about the woman on your facebook that you don't know personally ~ I started something that has been very very freeing to me, and sets boundaries... facebook is PRIVATE ~ if you are on facebook, you know me, and you want to see pics of my daughter's wedding. It's my space for friends and family. Linked in is professional, I am on a site for weightloss and that's where they care if I said no to a second cookie and can give me a ^5 if I got out for my walk, and Twitter is a real mix (new to twitter to be honest).

By the way WTG on being RT so many times!

[Tara Marino]

The “bad bragging” and “good bragging” is a bit tricky since the difference between them is quite slim. But yes, I totally agree that there’s a way to say your accomplishments without sounding as if you’re bragging. It’s something that women can learn.

I also agree with the other comments here that a lot of factors are at play here – how other people see you, people’s personal feelings towards your success, other people’s attitude or mood etc. Sometimes even if you edit what you say as much as you can, there’s no pleasing everybody.

[Gustavo]

Feb22 OMG! Cool. Id love to read those too, if only to know how men ralley think, and then some. VS dont turn men on? Really? im soooo relieved!