2006 - It Went That Well, Huh?

We’re sitting in the café marketplace having a business breakfast, (these Texans know how to grill up a mean frittata) we’re having a pretty intense discussion, but I can’t seem to take my eyes off the bus boy.   

Was he that hot?  No no, it was nothing like that.  I found myself fantasizing about what it would be like to be him – about my job requiring nothing more than clearing tables - gather up the dirty dishes, put them in the plastic tub, take them to the kitchen.

This is not to diminish the job of busing tables – I did it for a few years and it’s physical work.   But what  would it be like to have a job that simple – where you could go home at the end of the day and leave work behind…where your boss could look at the tables, see they were all clean, and know you’ve done a good job….where failure and success have clear boundaries….where you don’t wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat having nightmares of never ending tables with plates you can’t seem to clear away no matter how hard you work. 

Sign one – bus boy envy

Then I go back to the hotel and the soda machine is out of water – completely out, all 3 buttons.    I attacked the machine.  No – I didn’t just yell at it – I physically attacked it.  I pounded its face and kicked it in the shins.   I threw my shoulder into it hoping to topple it on its side and extract water from it like blood.

Sign two – irrational soda machine attacks

Realizing that I was attracting unwanted attention from the fellow guests deciding they didn’t really want that soda/water if it meant going near “that crazy lady”, I went to the hotel fitness center.  40 minutes into my treadmill session I actually started to tear up – I was thinking about my father.   90 minutes later, I finally got off, well- got off isn’t exactly what happened, I stopped walking and went to push stop but missed and went flying off the back of the machine into a heap on the floor. 

Sign three – losing it on a treadmill in a crappy hotel fitness center.

Have you ever looked longingly at someone who has a job that looks so much easier and simpler than yours?   Have you ever felt beaten down by the world and found yourself taking it out on those who don’t deserve it?  Have you ever done your best to escape and run away from your fears only to find no mater how fast and far you run, they catch up with you anyway?

I’ve heard from many of you in this same position.  You’ve shared your stories with me, good and bad, and I cannot thank you enough – to my heroes:  everyone at Real Savvy Moms, Kelly Anderson at Start Up Princess,  Heidi Richards at Women's ECommerce Association International , Lisa Rousseau at Walking Spree, Mary Hunt at In Women We Trust,, Michelle Sullivan at Agebest Basics, and so many others.   I’m inspired by all of you, by your passion, by your success, and by your struggles, especially by your struggles.

Yup- 2006 has been that kind of year.   But there is an ancient Chinese proverb:  The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you succeed.

So as you finish up 2006, I have a suggestion for you.  Take it or leave it, it’s up to you.

One of the first pages I wrote in my new book was the “acknowledgment” page – the page where you thank those responsible for helping you create the following work.    Out of nearly 250 pages, it is my favorite page.  It is the one I keep re-writing and continually adding to.   Is it because it’s the most eloquent page of the book?  Far from it.   But it’s that page that keeps me going.   It is a reminder of all the people who have helped me.   It is a list of gratitude that grows every day.   

Even if you aren’t writing a book – you have a dream.  I know this sounds hokey as hell, but write that acknowledgment page, even if you only write it in your head.   When your dream comes true – who will you have to thank?  Seriously – this isn’t some new-age, granola, “I’m ok, you’re ok” crap.   When you pop the cork for achieving your great passion – who do you want there to share in that moment?  What will you say to them?   

Write your acknowledgment page.  I’m telling you – you will feel better. You will feel more focused.  Just don’t write it on the treadmill – one minute you’re mentally preparing your masterpiece, the next your ass is sprawled on the floor.   Those things really should have warning labels on them.   

Comments

[Lisa Rousseau]

Thank you for the shout out Holly. But most of all, thank you. You were such an inspiration at the Wonder Branding seminar and you've been a wonderful resource and sounding board (Michele, you too;)). One of the greatest boons with connecting online has been being able to see that we're not alone in this struggle. Reading Kelly Anderson's blog and seeing I'm not the only one that thinks going to bed at 1 am is early, lol. I can't wait for the book to come out and I know it will be an accumulation of your successes, passions and struggles. You're definitely in my acknowledgements list:)

[David Leal]

Hi Holly,

I'm sorry that you had such a rough year. I'm studying on my own to become a Persuasion Architect, trying to break free of my 8-year-old programming career.

May I suggest something? I don't know if you already do it, but I believe that if you apply your skills to help people that cannot pay you back, you'll feel much better.

Apart from working with clients, I want to help non-profits, and people trying start their own businesses. I'm sick of watching people bound to the tyranny of the cubicle. I've witnessed too many stories of employer insensitivity (and of employee stupidity, too--I still get angry at the thought of a mother leaving her 18-month sick child in a child care center because of having to go to work).

I hope all goes well with you. Here's to 2007, a year full of promise and hope. After all, we write our own stories, don't we?

[David Leal]

By the way, your blog and your articles at GrokDotCom are excellent. You write very well, and you've helped be very much.

Cheers.

[Yvonne DiVita]

Holly, I so relate! There are many evenings, when I'm still hard at work chained to the computer, when I remember the 'old' days - of working from 8-5, and having weekends off. Wow! What a concept!

Then, I take a swig of water, I get back online, and I read inspirational posts on blogs like yours, and I realize that I'm very, very lucky. I can make my own path - my own decisions - and my own mistakes.

Even when I'm at the end of my rope (every other week, lately), I am still the one in charge; to either go forward, or quit.

Here's hoping you're feeling better now. Keep the faith. We're all with you.

[Mary]

Holly, I get sign-holder envy; many days I wish I was holding the sign that says, STOP / GO allowing traffic to flow or not. What power. What control. It reminds me what single tasking can accomplish.

BTW, I love your idea of a mental acknowledgement page, it changes the mindset of winners and losers to working togetherers... oh, and humming the theme song from Scrubs.

[Mary Schmidt]

I think we can all relate! There are days when I think a frontal lobotomy and dressing in a paper hat starts lookin' good. "Do you want fries with that?" And, Buddy the bag boy always looks so happy.

And, I laughed out loud reading about you flying off the treadmill - so like something I would do. Most recently, I wheeled my OPEN suitcase from one line to another in Phoenix, leaving a long trail of stuff as it slowwwlllly slide out and down (which people were nice enough to run behind me with...) Yes, I'm a trained, well-paid professional! They just don't let me out much!

[Brian Bond]

One of the best posts of the year Holly! very relatable... Great job with this blog and congratulations again on your upcoming book, writing a book is a wonderful accomplishment. Be proud knowing that you are making a difference!

[Patrick Sullivan Jr.]

Wow, I REALLY needed to hear that proverb. I almost moved to Belize this afternoon so I could try and get a job throwing chum off the side of a dive boat. I'm not currently qualified, but I am a quick learner and I don't mind the fish guts. At least, I don't think I would. Thank you Holly. :)

Btw, it was nice to meet in Austin earlier this month at WoW.

[Kelly King Anderson]

Holly,
Thanks so much for being so real...one of the reasons I love you and your writing. It is hard to write so honestly sometimes, will people still respect me? will they want to hear what I have to say? YES> it makes us all relate. My friends keep telling me to write about the poopy diapers I change between conference calls, etc! That is our life. We are all in the middle of crap sometimes. Ha! ;)

But, seriously, I also love gratitude pages, I have a page on my website called "gratitude corner" where I write down the names of all the people who have helped me with my start up and with whatever else, it is soooo long now and I hope it continues to grow everyday because then I'm aware that I am a sum of everyone I come in contact with, nothing I've ever accomplished is on my own. Thanks so much for all you share with me and those of us who are trying to make a difference in the world one step at a time.

I love that 2007 is just around the corner, new dreams, new adventures, new challenges to test us and help us grow. I love seeing you grow too.

[iztituecharemanitasejati]

Recently I lost my Aunt Rene and most folks have plenty of Aunts, she was my last. She rsaied me in Scotland and it continued when we came to this country.She did have a good long ride, but guess I feel like I am still on the bike with her. At 60, I guess I should take the transition better.She was surely worth a couple of days of feeling empty and lost to a degree and the video reminds me that God will in time, pick me of the ground and point me in the correct direction.Maybe the video was his way of telling me that yes, it was a good ride, but your journey is not quite over.

[Marcelo]

Pat Nielsen - Holly, how beautiful you are! Such of spiceal daughter of our Heavenly Father and your wonderful Mom. You look just like your angelic Mom. Congratulations on your album. May this album be as successful as you have been. U R AWESOME!Hugs to you, Pat Nielsen